A special patient

“Hello, there is a call from Chamgang”

As soon as we heard this line, we knew it was Mr. Pemba calling for ambulance. Don’t be so surprised how we knew this. Let me tell you about Mr. Pemba who was 45 years old with Alcoholic Liver Disease (ALD). I don’t know since when he started using (misusing to be precise) the ambulance and emergency medical services. By the time, I joined the Emergency Department of JDWNRH, everyone knew about him very well and all of our friends went for emergency call he activated several times. I was told that he previously served in military and because of his drinking habit, it seemed like he was terminated. I was even told that he had a wife and three little kids but then his wife left him taking two of the kids probably because of his bad drinking habits. I always saw him with his son, Wangchuk who was barely ten years old.

 

P.C.: Google

So it was his heavy and continuous drinking habit that would cause him abdomen distension and pain. Every time we brought him to the emergency department, he would act very humble and go back home saying he would stop drinking. But he would call back for ambulance within the next 3-4 days and that also always at night as his place was some 10 kilometers away from the hospital (no taxi available at that time). Reaching at his place he would be in pain and his ten year old son always had to accompany him to hospital hampering his studies. He was seen by medical specialist and psychiatrist as well but his own efforts were so minute that it nullified everyone’s effort (including us who served him several times) and his health deteriorated so badly that he was physically very fragile and weak within few months. Still he was not willing to give up drinking. We tried our best to serve him, not only as health worker but as friends also, advising him to stop drinking and to let his young son have a smooth childhood. But he never hesitated to dump our advises and turn up completely drunk and stink so badly. Wangchuk, his son would always had to attend his father for so many times and spent sleepless night at the hospital.

Recently when I joined back my work, my colleague told me that we no longer have to go to Chamgang for Mr. Pemba as he expired last December. I couldn’t take it though I had somehow expected this outcome of him. I still feel I will get an emergency call directing me to go to Chamgang for him. Often times, we are told not to get attached with the patients but it’s hard not to do so when we have such patients who made us work so much and even think and talk about him. He even made me write this post because he is hard to forget. MAY YOUR SOUL REST IN PEACE. I will pray for you to be reborn as a good person who would always take care of your body and cherish the presence of your loved ones.

Moments with you - part II

There are people for whom we need to make an extra effort. And sometimes even that extra effort fall short and we eventually end up giving up on him/her.

It was the last time we met in the cafe. Its been more than two years and missing him has never lessened. I knew he flew to Europe for he had his father there. Nothing has been heard of him then. But I hope he is doing fine and had found a purpose in life. I gave up on him and he too did the same.

Surprise has hit me to the core after so many years as I saw him back in Bhutan at the craft village with a foreigner lady who I suppose was either his wife or girlfriend. He really did move ahead happily.

“I think I should listen to you and mother to marry and settle in life”, I told my father that night. My father was really delighted with my decision and soon I found my mother showering me with so many kisses to express how happy she was. They had always wanted me to marry.  

Within a week, my mother was successful in finalizing a man for me.

“Tandin is Lhaden’s nephew. And I know about the whole family and his childhood. He is a perfect match for you.” My mother pointed out so proudly. Aunty Lhaden was my mother’s best friend and she has seen me grow up. Yes, perhaps he was a perfect match for me.

After three months of my marriage to Tandin, I was transferred to Pema Gatshel. Tandin too applied for a transfer with me. My parents were right about Tandin as he has been a very caring and understanding husband for me. All those bad days had gone and I knew a new friend in life.

Fate brought me to this point that in Pema Gatshel my history unfolded as Gyel was running his father’s mining company there. And to my utter disappointment that foreigner lady I saw with him was his friend from Frankfurt whom he was taking on sightseeing in Thimphu.

“You seem to be happy with him. I am happy with my money. We both are happy in life. Let’s celebrate this tonight. Come to my place with your husband.” Gyel said. Gyel successfully convinced Tandin and that night we were at his house in the fake celebration, carrying the rough smiles ever.

As days turned into months, our realizations were hard to hide. Tandin came to know everything and he couldn’t be that perfect ideal husband. All he saw in me was my longing for Gyel and my wish to stay happily with the man I loved. And one fine day Tandin broke off all those snares and set me free to be with my man.

It has been my fate and even my parents couldn’t win against this mighty fate. Both of our parents burnt into anger when they heard about us but the storm settled soon. We overcame all barriers and decided to stay with each other forever. 

Moments with you

The rain was in full swing of romance in the peak of monsoon season. They travelled thousands of miles and kissed the soil. I was in hurry as it was already 8 PM and my tummy growled with hunger for I didn’t even get time to take a proper lunch due to a really tight schedule. After having waited for more than twenty minutes at the junction for a taxi, I had no other option than to walk home so that I could eat and have a timely rest. I folded my pants towards my knees and took the careful steps, fighting mud and rain drops. The rain hit me carelessly and didn’t spare any part of my body.

Suddenly I was given a shield from the violent rain. I felt the presence of someone behind me. I turned around and saw Gyel holding an umbrella for me. I thanked him in the broadest smile possible.

“I always saw you carrying an umbrella. Why not today?” he asked me

It wondered me then. How can it happen that this very man who was standing so tall and protective of me always knew when I needed him? What must have been the matter that he always came to help me?

We then walked under one umbrella continuing all the casual talks under the street light. We were few inches away from each other and we could feel our own breath sounds. He safely dropped me home with his humble umbrella.

“Yangchen, I can remember very clearly that you promised your father that you will stay away from that guy” my mother filled my ears the next day as she saw Gyel drop me home the previous night. I stood there silently and didn’t say a word. She tried her best in convincing me how good things would be if I maintained distance from Gyel.

I entered the mountain café that afternoon and saw Gyel waiting for me across a table. I joined him there. “My mother saw you yesterday and I have been given a last warning to stop seeing you” I said

“So what have you decided?” he asked

Gyel knew my decision. We had so many earlier episodes of fights and quarrels as I told him that I couldn’t go against my parents. He kept poking me again and again in a hope that I would change my mind.

“I know it’s hard but we have to stop” I said very reluctantly

My father has never favored Gyel. Gyel was the nephew of my aunt’s ex husband. I must say that my aunt, Deki and his uncle have had one of the dirtiest divorces roasted in the court with so many allegations. Whilst all the proceedings, my father was the one who stood by his only sister and helped her come through all the turbulent times. My father held his point, “I can’t afford to see another Deki in this lifetime.”

That meeting in the café closed our future together and no matter what that was only way out. Departing has never been easy. And one very painful thing about departure is that every minute hunt you deeply and those beautiful past memories are strong fuels to burning fire. We promised to make our own lives separately whether we were happy or not.

…to be continued

Those buried promises!

18th April 2017

Pema Choki
Everything I had believed to be mine was fake. Nothing was real. His lies had covered up everything making me believe him foolishly.

Tshewang Tobgay
I had been trying my best to gather enough courage from the day I met her to tell her the truth but I failed it all the time. I didn't want her to think she was second in my life. The risk was always heavy to carry.

Pema Choki
It took me a whole week to talk and convince my parents about the man I loved and chose to be my partner for life: Tshewang Tobgay. They finally consented me to marry him this morning. I was dancing in delight as I passed on this wonderful news to him.

Tshewang Tobgay
She finally answered to my marriage proposal. She said that she was ready to be my wife. She sounded so sincere with the joys and happiness. She had the least idea that she was to be my second wife, not the first.
I met her a year ago at my workplace. She joined in my office as my junior. For me, it was the love at first sight. I couldn’t even give a proper judgement about her that I was in love with her. At first she judged me flirty and didn’t respond. As I grew consistent in poking her, she demanded time so that she could think. And while all these, I could hardly think of browsing my painful history for her reference.

Pema Choki
It was towards the beginning of spring last year when this man whom I knew very less proposed me (and was my senior at office) during one of my colleague’s birthday. Since he was little drunk I hardly gave a thought on what he said. But the next day he approached me confessing it was the truth and that he was serious about me. He kept on nagging for a couple of days and I had no other option than to think and provide him a definite answer.

Tshewang Tobgay
We started dating soon. I was knowing her everyday. She owned a very fragile heart that would be grieving even if a stranger gave a dissatisfied look to her without even knowing if that one was for her or not. I was determined not to take any risk for her fragile heart by digging up my past which I had forever buried into my memories. All that mattered to me was Pema and our future together. I wanted to make her my future. I wanted to make her my wife. So I proceeded on with the marriage proposal last weekend while we visited the scared Paro Kyichu Lhakhang.

Pema Choki
Tshewang suddenly asked me to accompany him to offer butter lamps at Kyichu Lhakhang last Sunday. He just told me that he wanted to pray to the future Buddha- Jow Jampa for a prosperous future for the both of us. Once there, I fell in love with the blooming spring flowers outside the Lhakhang premises and I immediately asked him to take my photographs with that exotic scene behind me. He smiled and clicked some quick snaps and handed me back my phone. When I was done with checking the photographs on my phone, Tshewang was nowhere to be seen. Moments later his photo vibrated on my mobile screen. I received him immediately and before I could say a word, he spoke out, “Will you marry me Pema?” I couldn’t believe my ears. He repeated the same question three times and by then tears had made their way down my cheeks. I couldn’t answer him and within no time he reached me from back and gave me the warmest back hug.

Tshewang Tobgay
I was 100% sure that she would say a yes to my proposal and as expected it was a yes from her. But...this is a fashion with Bhutanese girls that they would firstly seek the permission from their parents  and then only give a finalized answer. So it took her a week to talk to her parents about me and our relationship. She had readied herself and her family for our marriage and future together. Just when things were getting to the point, my past cast it’s shadows.

Pema Choki
There was no question of believing what that woman told me this afternoon because I knew that he was never married and have not even mentioned to me if he had. The woman by the name Tshering Choden pointed to her 5 year old son and told me if he didn’t look like Tshewang. I closed my eyes because I believed him more than anyone else. But moments later I was proved wrong as I saw the guilt in his eyes when he faced me and Tshering Choden together. He couldn’t meet my gaze at all. He fell short of word and there was no explanation from him. I was to collapse seeing my man in a condition filled with guilt resulted from his lies.

Tshewang Tobgay
I couldn’t believe my past came and ruined my future. Words were hard to form as I thundered into thousands thoughts when a 5 year old claimed me as his father. All these years I didn’t know I had a son. My ex wife Tshering whom I have separated years ago brought up my baby (as she claimed) alone and now she had brought him to me as he wished to see his father. When did I become a father? How I didn’t know this? Tshering went on with her justification that she wanted to be the single parent for her son as she neither wanted to get back to me nor bring in a step father to her little son.

Pema Choki
It’s funny! I mean the surprise was really good and it seriously knocked me to the ground. So this was it. I have been played well. Tshering and Tobgay went on with their talks about the child (their kid) where their history was re winded several times and how everything landed up the way things are. I had then stepped off from their way. It was extremely hard but I have no other option.

Tshewang Tobgay
Upon inquiring a lot, I had to face and accept the ultimate truth that I was a father to a kid and I bore responsibilities towards him. Being his father meant sacrificing so many things including Pema. Her level of self respect didn't permit her to marry a kid's father and become a step mother. It was me, not my son or my past who caused the damage as I disappointed her in telling my past.
I miss her so much and I know she too miss me but we have been barred. We both have been drawn towards our own lives. I decided to take up the responsibility of my son despite my ex-wife's reluctance because he was my son, my responsibility.

After seven months...
Pema Choki
Months have passed now and things are much more normalized. I am feeling happy today. I met Tshewang and his cute son in the market and they both looked so good and happy together. The decision I and Tshewang had made to separate for his son's happiness yielded fruit. May god bless this father and son always.

Tshewang Tobgay
I  saw and met Pema after such a long time today. She left the office few weeks after we separated and then I hardly knew where she was. Now I can say she is doing fine and happy too. I hope and pray she find (or may be already found) a man with more courage to love and tell her the truth every time and be blessed with happiness always.